Comments

comments:

In class responding: From ahamilt4 Thu Jan 26 15:23:56 -0500 2006 --genrmac, Fri, 27 Jan 2006 18:49:15 -0500 reply
I really like how you started out with saying that the house can never be only your because the memories of the past inhabitants will always reamin. I thought that was a realy good point and very interesting!!

Detail: I am seriously blown away by all the detail you added. You did a great job describing each room, the only thing I think may help is a little bit about what you do in the rooms or what they mean to you and your family: how you use them, how often, if they are important, etc.

Organization: The organization is great. You tackle each room and breifly describe it. I feel almost as I am walking through the house with you while I read this. The only thing I can think of is to maybe have more of a concluding paragraph where you really bring the space together and what it means to you and your family or how it reflects the life of your family.

Observer/writer: Like I said before, I feel like we are walking through your house together. I feel like you can expand more on the personal memories/interests/preferences of each room or the space as a whole. You've painted a very good picture of the rooms that make up the house, now tell me how each one reflects you/your family.

Associations: I definitely associate this house with my parents house. It's beings up images of room in my house that are very alike or are used similarily as those in you house and I begin to remember growing up in my house as i read about your kids and their rooms, etc.

Comments from KKline? --genrmac, Fri, 27 Jan 2006 18:52:05 -0500 reply
Great description of the layout; it provides a detailed map in the reader's mind. The house sounds beautiful, you can almost hear the creaking and see the sunlight. I would suggest getting a little more personal with it though, maybe cut out some of the technical details and add more character. I like when you mention the person entrance and the dog entrance, the runway for your toddlers and now, pets; maybe you could expand a little more on those things. The organization is perfect, you start at the entrance, give the grand tour and exit. Great layout. The only suggestion I have here is to maybe provide sections with titles to lead the reader into the next segment and to give each piece of the house a theme; for example, your children's bedrooms would be a great section to set on its own and expand upon. As an observer you obviously appreciate and admire your house on a regular basis, that's hard to get through to the reader without sounding overly analytical but you pulled it off beautifully. However, I would like to read more about the details, the aspects you don't normally think about, the things that you see everyday but don't acknowledge very often. I imagine a beautiful, wood house like the house I grew up in with my Grandparent's that my Great-Grandfather built. It's a great feeling to have a house with such character, because of this privledge I really encourage you to check out the cracks and creaks and really get to know its history. You have a great start about this in the beginning when you are discussing how people have been in the house before you and how they will continue to be there after you leave. I think you should really go with this angle. Excellent start, great details.

Great Space! from rreed200 --genrmac, Fri, 27 Jan 2006 18:54:09 -0500 reply
I got such a graphic sense of what your home is like. It seems beautiful! I have similar things in my house as well, so I was able to identify easily with your descriptions. It seems that your home is a place of relaxation for you as it represents both a part of you and your family. I miss my family so reading about someone else's, even just in this simple way of descriptions, makes me think about them even more! :) I really enjoyed how you included the way that your childrens' rooms are decorated; it is your house, and yet not your room, but personalized by them. I think this is very well written and extremely descritpive. I think you have covered everything in great detail. Great Job!

response by sandy --sbaldwin, Fri, 03 Feb 2006 00:16:53 -0500 reply
Genny: A great start.

The play on mine/mine is fascinating. Perhaps houses are never ours? Certainly we share them with memories - maybe not ghosts, but at the least early dwellings who left a mark.

You offer a comprehensive list / itinerary of the house. So, for the doors we get a sense of movement through the space. There's a socialization of doors: the serve different purposes, allow different people in/out. So, the house is built around circulation as much as function or purpose - people enter and travel through the house for different purposes and via different means.

We see how different items act as focal or organizing points - like the pool table. Each of these can be the source of associations and stories, as could each of the doors/means of entrance. Simply thinking of the doors: who uses each? tell us names, how they use the doors, etc. Quickly we get a sense of how the house is inhabited as a space of circulation.

The bedrooms tell us less about circulation than habitation, so the focus turns to the visual and to decoration. Certainly there are things to say here - additional details about the room. How is Jordan's room different, given that she's away at college? It must feel different...

Decoration would be the clue in the downstairs bedroom too - what does the railing signify? the tennis engraving? the sunflower? what is this trying to express?

I wonder how you've changed the house. What additions/subtractions? How do you make it yours - given the age and previous inhabitants? On the other hand, what specific aspects are there from previous dwellers, what were you forced to notice? what remains?

Stepping back, you describe the house largely empty of people; you allude to the people but focus on the things. Perhaps you get to see it this way? But also you see it in motion. Can you reflect on the difference? When it's going, perhaps, one doesn't even notice the house, as such...

Great Space --primowvu, Tue, 14 Feb 2006 15:11:17 -0500 reply
Wow 15 bedrooms thats a lot. Great links everthing in these links had good detail and back story. I liked the descriptions of each of these rooms through the links. These links provided an almost virtual tour of your house allowing me to go from one room to another through each link.

response --sbaldwin, Tue, 28 Feb 2006 11:58:00 -0500 reply
Genny:

Well, geat job. I get a sense you enjoyed doing it too.

I like the way you set up the reading, with the combination of evolution, results, and story. I think one thing you’re telling us – though you may want to make this more explicit in the beginning – is the difference between architectural space and lived space (house vs. home?). I think this is in your first paragraph (“The age of the house proves that though it is mine, it will never be only mine. The memories of past inhabitants linger, and the house is certain to have more owners after my time here is finished.”) and you might spend more on this – reflect on it more. What does it mean that it is not yours? How does this make you feel – are there specific objects that feel this way? At the same time, you’re adding memories to it as well – future owners will share your memories, as it were.

I do think there’s a good balance between description and story. I like the structure – evolution, result, story – but it makes the page long, perhaps too much to read? Remember the idea of “scannability.” While you’ve put a lot into each page, I suggest breaking the three parts into separate nodes for each room, but link them in sequence. You can maintain the colors etc., but first node is evolution, then result, then story… Then include lateral links between nodes, e.g. from story to story, and so on. Does this make sense?

As you work photos in, think about incorporating them directly into the page rather than on their own page (e.g. “viewpoint”).

Great Format --kkline, Tue, 21 Mar 2006 15:11:09 -0500 reply
The pictures definately add a lot of character to the space; you can see all the memories and it clarifies your points in the evolution parts. The web design is very effective in creating a format where the viewer can get lost in the moments. The pictures and deep links tie everything together nicely and the images provide the visual history. I really like the changes you've made and I can't wait to see if you decide to change the pictures to links or not. Good luck with that! By the way, the part about the loud noise and the crib...what happened? What was the noise? It left me curious. Great improvement.

Thanks for having us over. --eschnei1, Tue, 21 Mar 2006 15:20:13 -0500 reply
I love the idea of room evolution. You've done an amazing job integrating your pictures into your page. From the moment the page loads, we're at your house. It's very inviting.

Suggestions: For me, your page is a little heavy on the bulleted lists. I like the stories better! :-)

It be nice to have the Evolution link to the Result from its page instead of choosing from a list on the previous page.

Don't let the suggestions mislead you, however. Even as is, your Space Page is outstanding!

... --mpearl, Tue, 21 Mar 2006 15:33:40 -0500 reply
Your space looks awesome. All the pictures you have really show us what your house is all about. The story and evolution of each thing is cool too. I feel like I've been over your house just by looking at this webpage. The organization of it is great and all of your description is really good too.

Response from Tina --tstinson, Tue, 21 Mar 2006 15:38:52 -0500 reply

Kitchen

(Of course, I would go straight to the kitchen. I love kitchens and I love to cook. But this is not about me.) I like how you included different pictures of taken of the kitchen showing a progression of time. At one time all we could reach was the bottom cupboard, but soon enough we're reaching the top ones too. Time does fly.

Informal Eacting Study

Spaces change so much over time. Once again I love your progression. Unfortunately I have moved too many times to actually see this progression. I would like to see some type of caption for each picture. It would help me know exactly what is going on and maybe help me to know who the people are (so that I can see not only space progression but family progression as well.)

Overall Comments

I think it would be easier to comment on your space as a whole. I love the pictures you have chosen. It seems they all have sentimental value to you. I would definately add captions. We can see the progression of the space, but some may not know who the people in the pictures are or if they are the same people (just older). I'm also confused on the section titled Result. I may not have read enough to understand or I might just not know. What is the "cause" for the result? Does that make sense? I also like how you have combined very detailed descriptions of the rooms with the pictures that show things that are going on--memories. You have even included stories that are quite nice to read. Overall, I think you have made a wonderful start to your page. Definately the most nodes I have seen so far. :-)

response --sbaldwin, Tue, 11 Apr 2006 12:29:57 -0400 reply
Genny:

This looks terrific - great job! (You have a nice house.) I have a few minor comments.

The organization is working really well now. I like the idea that we're getting different "views" both in space and time (the past and present).

The graphics are working well. You may be able to get the text tighter around the images. Experiment with the following: - use the html syntax - add an align command, so - that should wrap the text tighter, I think. You can also align=left.

Where you use text as captions for images, experiment with formatting to set the text off more. With a large or complex image, it's easy for the text to disappear. So, perhaps bold or text color?

I feel that the first page is lengthy - too much to read. I would suggest moving everything after the bullets (evolution, result, story) onto a separate page. i.e. starting with "to walk thru the house." I think this won't take too much to cut and paste and it will make the page more readable.

Now, an overall comment. I wouldn't change much beyond these suggestions. Still, I'm led back to your initial phrase "though it is mine, it will never be only mine" is perfect and guides the whole exploration. This forms the organizing image or theme, and then your structure of evolution/result/story organizes the data. It's great. At the same time, the overall impression for me - for the reader - is that I understand more of what you've done to the house than of the past. This makes sense, of course. You've lived there for years and it's evolved with you. Rather than try to invoke the past - the house prior to you - perhaps add a page linked both to here (at this starting phrase) and at the final comment (about how you occasionally consider selling the house), a page where you reflect on how people make houses their own, a page where you reflect on this initial phrase. It strikes me that the place is very much "yours" yet you're aware that you make it this way and someone else can do the same... do you agree?

Also, I appreciate your comments on the length of the videos. Here's my answer: if you're working with slideshows, strive for 30 seconds. You can play with the timing (images/sec) to get it right.

response by sandy --sbaldwin, Mon, 01 May 2006 22:46:49 -0400 reply
Genny: This looks fabulous. I think you should be very pleased. The writing is wonderful, the organization effective, and the multimedia works well - the videos play (cute kids, great music!), and so on. One formatting thing: the title on the first page (your address) could probably be a tiny bit smaller - you notice how it's getting cut off, and I don't think you intend this... It's because the line of text is formatted for about 14 point and you've set the font at 24 point. Try font-size 18 or 20 rather than 24.